As a virgin, an asexual, and as someone who’s not planning on having sex anytime soon, I was unbelievably infuriated by this week’s Glee episode — so infuriated, in fact, that I have had trouble formulating words on the subject. I felt hurt, invalidated, and basically like a core component of my personal identity (and one I hold particularly dear) had come under attack. The above link does a pretty good job of explaining why.
It’s important to make the point that not all asexuals are celibate, but many are. Some never intend to have sex, whatever the circumstances, and that is okay, no matter what shows like Glee try to tell us on the subject. Sex is not something that everyone is going to have to experience sooner or later, whether we like it or not, and it is entirely possible to go an entire lifetime without it and not feel the slightest bit deprived. It doesn’t mean you’re broken or that something’s wrong with you. Even married couples are not *obligated* to have sex. If Carl didn’t like Emma’s attitude/feelings towards sex, well, maybe he shouldn’t have married her. I wouldn’t think that it would be that difficult to figure out before the ceremony that Emma doesn’t like the idea of sex. And Holly Holiday’s crack towards the end there about her lips being sealed “just like [Emma’s] legs” was cruel and entirely unnecessary.
I have no problem with Glee tackling the topic of teens and sex, and I fully support the push for better sex ed in the US. It’s important that kids know what the deal is so that they can make informed choices and keep themselves safe if those choices involve having sex. But was it really necessary to make such ruthless fun of those who choose to abstain?
*sigh* I’m not sure what else I can say about this topic that hasn’t already been said. I highly recommend the article above; for anyone who doesn’t understand why I’m upset about this, it will make matters much clearer.
I enjoyed the episode, but I definitely had a problem the celibacy-shaming and the use of the word interchangeably with abstinence. I took it in stride because the character of Holly Holiday is supposed to be incredibly insensitive and not particularly bright at times, but in the same way Blaine’s bicuriosity was handled a couple weeks ago, no counterpoint was offered. For a show that does its best to be all inclusive, it was missing a key component of the sexual spectrum this week.