Whereas a man on the road might be seen as potentially dangerous, potentially adventurous, or potentially hapless, in all cases the discourse is one of potential. When a man steps onto the road, his journey begins. When a woman steps onto that same road, hers ends.

Amazing article about how the stories we tell have a profound effect on the visibility of real people.

kendrawcandraw:

Getting really tired of shit like this and this and the above situation that happened to me this morning at 9AM and sometimes I get mad and comics come out

everytaeishalloween:

Seoulbeats wrote this article about slut shaming, double standards, the male gaze, and how society genders, views and consumes sexuality in concerns with Ga-in’s latest video, “Bloom” and also addressed the kpop industry’s treatment of female idols at large.

They make good points. Without a doubt, there is a very obvious double standard between how male idols can express their sexuality and their relationship with women and how female idols express theirs. Male idols can express both overt and subtle, positive and negative, the negative which bears mentioning since there is a voracious amount of friendzone/retribution & vengeance violence/slut-bashing in male kpop videos. Female idols have to cater strictly to a very regulated, awkward, forced, confused, misguided, dehumanizing, and exploitative male gaze, and if they dare walk away from that and engage in a sexuality that is more realistic, more feminine, or even in any way, shape, or form feminist, anti-sexism, or anti-misogynist, it gets stifled, banned. They get slut shamed, accused of being uppity, promoting poor values and sex, misandry, or attempting to illicit violence against men or something ignorant the like. Men are allowed to express overt, toxic, selfish, entitled, and misogynist forms of sexuality largely unpoliced while women are highly limited to expressing what men want to see.

There’s another level to this misogyny-ception, because while all female idols are pretty much dictated by the male gaze, people still will separate them in two camps-those who Do It Right, and those who Go Too Far and Are Just Sluts. Girls Generation, who anyone with an ounce of sense knows are just as much for male consumption as any other female pop star, are often heralded as sweethearts and wholesome while Hyuna gets dragged through the mud on the regular.

So comes in the case of Ga-in’s “Bloom”-With its overt allusions to  a woman fully engaging in and enjoying her sexuality and Ga-in twirling around on a pole (though while looking rather angelically), is definitely sex upon sex, yet she’s been able to sp far escape the criticisms that groups and artists like Hyuna or Rania have gotten in the past for content that was way less suggestive.

Though the article notes this, it goes on to reinforce that norm and essentially agree with it, saying that Ga-in is rightfully getting less slack because she is portraying a “healthier” sexuality in which she is control while Hyuna is merely pandering to a sexist norm.

First off, it isn’t fair to say that all forms of more raunchy or sexual expressions of sexuality coming from women is automatically about the male gaze. While the industry does command and control them, women do have an amount of autonomy. That’s legitimate  even if women are expressing themselves in a way you don’t feel comfortable with. The reason why there is a schism between Ga-in and Hyuna is because of the same slut-shaming standard that both tells them how to express themselves THEN sits there and pits them against each other, the pale, “pure” one who is “sexy without being slutty” against the tramped out, tanned whore who “does too much”. This says nothing of Ga-in or Hyuna as individuals but rather tons about the measure that is ruling and judging them. Both are still working under the same gaze, both are still criticized and policed. Who knows, Ga-in might still catch criticism for promoting pre-marital sex or for being obscene in her enjoying being sexual.

Though there is merit in talking about the male gaze, misogyny, exploitation, and negative and positive sexuality, undermining them like this is cheap. Don’t put the responsibility of Hyuna getting slut-shamed on her, and tell her she needs to “appeal to female sexuality” before she gets respected or seen as “empowered” or “feminist”. Don’t pretend like that was necessarily Ga-in’s goal or aim, or that what she did still wasn’t still heavily dictated by a male gaze. Regardless of that, they are each allowed to express themselves, there is no right and wrong. It is a disservice to them and an act of misogyny in and of itself to pit them against each other like this. Slut shaming isn’t wrong because you “don’t know the lives of the women in question” or because “there’s a way to do it right”, it is wrong because you have no place to speak on or police women’s sexualities regardless of their motivators-themselves, money, male gaze, feminism, whatever. Criticize the patriarchal industries, institutions, and cultures they inhabit instead.

(Source: noonaneomuhomo)

(via lipsredasroses)

The whole thing is worth reading, but I clipped this part because it talks about how gender affects one’s notion of ‘privacy’. It’s ridiculous to assert that publishing someone’s name without their consent is a privacy violation while also asserting that publishing their photograph without consent isn’t.

Also, many times, women and girls have been named/identified just through their images. This is particularly true for those whose pictures are stolen from social media websites and online photo accounts. This can open them up to real life stalking, harassment, and even assault. So there’s the real risk of female internet users having their privacy violated in multiple ways.

(via downlo)

(via downlo)

“I see that straight white men are published in prestigious venues more often than women. I see that women are told by editors and agents and publishers to take explicitly sexual or violent or subjective language out of their work unless they can bend the language toward the culture in a way that will sell. These are gendered terms, laden with a force as real as my father’s. I write my heart out. I do.”

Before I started my manuscript, I thought to myself “If I’m going to write this, it has to be nasty.” Anything less would be dishonest. This is why.

jessicavalenti:

Sometimes, it’s worth the effort to respond to an asshole.

(via divinityphotography)

At 4-years old, I’m told to call it a “monkey”as the word “vagina” is a bit too vulgar for my otherwise liberal mother.
At 8-years old, my older sister’s favourite insult is “close your legs, you’re attracting flies.”

At 11, I realize that my vulva had changed, and I convince myself that I somehow damaged myself through masturbation.
At 12, I learn that virginity = purity, and the best way to be “good” is to not act at all. I start realizing that society thinks the state of my vagina has some bearing on who I am as a human being.
At 13, I hear the boys in my class talking about “beef curtains”, cementing my belief that my vulva will turn off boys forever.
At 14, I become interested in seeing what other women look like “down there” and find my way into the world of internet porn. I realize I do not look the same as porn-stars, and I become ashamed.
At 15, I learn about labiaplasty and seriously consider the logistics of saving up for it.
At 16, I have my first internal exam. I sit with my feet in stirrups convinced the doctor will tell me there’s something wrong with my genitals. When she doesn’t mention anything, I think she’s just being polite.
At 17, my boyfriend “jokingly” tells me my vulva is hideous.
At 19, I tell my new boyfriend about I how I know his disinterest in performing oral sex on me comes from him being disgusted at my genitals (rather than my own lack of interest), I cry, a lot; he tells me I’m being ridiculous and that there’s nothing wrong with me.
Later that year, I listen to my roommate insult a woman he doesn’t like by saying she has a “fat hairy pussy.”
At 20, I confess to a soon-to-be sexual partner that I’ve been putting off sex because I’m terrified he’ll hate my vulva.
At 21, I sit completely naked in a room full of other young women and confess that that years of hurtful comments from loved ones, friends, strangers, and the media have made me have serious amounts of shame about my vulva. I spread my legs and show them what I’ve got. Afterwards, one of the other women approaches me, looks me straight in the eye, and says “you have a beautiful vagina.” I try not to cry. I start to believe her.

At 21, I’m just now learning not to hate my genitals. I realize that this culture of shame surrounding the vulva and vagina stem from deep-seeded misogyny, and — really — has nothing to do with me.  I have wasted far too much time being ashamed of my perfectly normal, perfectly functioning genitals because of people like these politicians in Michigan who tell me that my body — by virtue of being born female — is offensive. So offensive that its name shan’t even be uttered, lest their ears fall off and their delicate sensibilities are offended.

To them, and to the people like them who are so terrified of my vagina that they feel the need to legislate what I can and can’t do with it: fuck you. My vagina belongs to me. My vulva is perfect the way it is. My body parts are not offensive.

(Source: doulaness, via lipsredasroses)